Pacing

Today I twitted the following poem:

Life is frustrating. So when do you stop living?
Gentle. Anger. Boil. Beneath. Love. Rage. Contrast. Interchange.
So when do you choose now or never?
Always believe?
Time and again. Trying to breath.
Heart racing.
Give and take.
Shining.

.....................................
I'm growing up and slowly unraveling the mysteries of life. It's way more complicated than I previously thought. I'm not alone in this thinking. Now I'm beginning to understand the phrase: "the unwinding path". Nothing good in life ever comes easy. Nothing easy in life can be appreciated as those you strive for on a golden pedestal.

Pacing. Walking. Running.
Racing.
Winning!


Hear me roar!
I will become tomorrow's everything!!

sometimes...

good things have to fall apart in order for better things to fall together...

Things are falling
weightless
landing
far in the distance
unknown

unsure

I been having a lot of random dreams that are so surreal is as if I was living them in reality
nightmares in disguise
fear confronted
................................

Thanks will,
2012
our date
................................

如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心
如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发
蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以让他陪你 我不怪你

快乐 什么时候会结束呢
哪一刻是最后一刻
想把你紧紧抱着
可知你是我生命中的 最舍不得

如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心

如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发
蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以 让他陪你
如果我变成回忆 最怕我太不争气
顽固的赖在空气 霸占你心里每一寸空隙
原来依然爱我的你痛苦承受失去
这样不公平
请你尽力

把我忘记

回忆
记忆
是世界上最可怕的

next year
.
let it bee

Even the sun goes through trouble

I pick up some sand
Watch it melt through my hands
Falling on my feet
Nearby ants on the ground
Building bridges and towns
So robust and neat
So hard to believe

Deep in my eyes
There's so much to wonder

Even the sun, goes through trouble
Shining her light, fighting rubble
Looking for diamonds like the stars
Up so high and down so far

Nobody knows whats going on
So much around, yet so much is gone
Out with the old, in with the new
Just sit back and enjoy the view

A look at the time
You hear the bell chime
Take off your shoes
Fill up your space
And live with a grace
To find all things true
Beautiful and new

Don't close your eyes
Its splendor in disguise

Even the sun, goes through trouble
Shining her light, fighting rubble
Looking for diamonds like the stars
Up so high and down so far

Nobody knows whats going on
So much around, yet so much is gone
Out with the old, in with the new
Just sit back and enjoy the view



I think we have drifted.
Far.
From each other.
I wish it wasn't true.
It wasn't so.
But the truth is like the elephant in the room.
Obvious.
Time to call it quits.
I always tell my friends to follow their hearts when it comes to love.
Guess now it's time to take a leaf out of my own book.
I won't pretend that everything is alright when the waves are crashing down.
quiet. Soft. serene. Love. self. Embrace. future. Breathe. smile.
Let it bee.
like a feather in the sky.
Float towards the heavens.
weight l e s s
look up
stargaze
wonder
and know that you are loved.

frustratinG

Today i killed my experiment - all the cells I have been growing patiently for the past week - gone... into the bleach bucket... i hate research.... really hate it! pipetting error my butt! i like my butt...

and tomorrow morning I have to do a presentation for SSRP.... just finished editing the last bit of my presentation... last minute? yep... and I thought I was gonna get this all together last weekend.... i hate research.... hate it...

and Brian *sigh...*

listening to David Choi right now... and the song "won't even start" just turned on -
i wish for the sun and the moon
don't know what'll happen w/me and brian

i feel like i'm lost again... frustrated.
i hate being like this



my heart beats at random intervals
arrhythmias?
weak heart?
shattering?
my heart have been broken before
but now, taped together and put on Styrofoam mattress - it's surviving

i have a heart that's still beating, loving, feeling
i want to be free
live
my
life
happily carefree stressfree lovingly tenderly excitingly wondrously
*sigh....*

i'll wrap my heart up tighter in it's own protection

TAKE ME AWAY!~~~*beyond*~~

whisper: je t'aime

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and
miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you
I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you
tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and
feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here
(with me)

发现爱？

miss
time
sand
soft
lust
love
radiant
stars
shine
moonlight
luminescent
wish
you are here --- with me

holding my breath
waiting
hoping
believing
you love me?
i love u
ILU
amour
爱

无法解脱
困惑
迷乱
迷恋
......................................

You seem distant these days... I miss you, I miss you, miss you, you
want to hold you, kiss you, hug you, touch you, be with you, wake up to you....
Can't believe I'm falling for you
You have my heart
do I have your's?
$#*&
weak! me! pathetic...
the ratio is no longer 80/20
nor 60/40
I'm lost
number jumbled up in my head
endless
pictures of you
无法入睡
难以催眠
sleepless nights
thinking of
u
me
us
together...
WEAK!
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!

breath

live your life for you
not for him
but b.h.
...

I want you
and I
Love u
and u?

爱
很复杂


我害怕
你的答案...
don't let me break

L.O.V.e

L ive
O
V
everyday

with purpose
life
is like a drop of infinity in the eyes of the universe
endless
yet finite

爱
像天使的翅膀
遮住你的双眼
把你包围在他人的心里

用life去爱
现在

不要盼望未来的到来
be present
and
love
live
life

爱的勇气

爱

我用我的人生来写爱的故事
古诗
大声朗诵爱的词语

但
我对爱并不了解
谜语
密语
蜜语

害怕恋爱

怕失去我已有的
没有的
幻想
盼望

每当爱在敲门的时候，我会在门的另一面
默默哭泣

请
不要爱我
..
.

我用幽默，音乐，朋友，家人，工作，一切
来弥补--- 这并不能弥补的空间，的悲伤

一生中，我已很幸遇了
..........................................................................................
怀念
童年的甜纯的爱
盼望
未来勇敢的爱

I admire those who are brave enough to love
and
I want to be one of them
to love
with purpose
with dedication
without fear

Just believe
Trust
that my heart will go on....
........................................................................................

雨后就会天晴
哭后就会笑
爱后就会知道
明白
享受
幸福
。

I need to give a chance to love B.H.
the hurt and scars that cover my heart will only strengthen it

be brave.