Faith

Life isn't always fun and games. Sometimes one just wants a little color, variaty, and a different way to live their life. Thus, change is brought into the picture, which isn't always a good thing. For me, changes has brought many unforgettable amazing moments that i just never want to let go. Other times, is not so great. Life for me now is like a big pot of messy-messishy stew that full of unexpected and or desasitorious suprises. The pattern of my life is changing constantly-- up, dramatic down, zero velocity, lower than the sea, on top of Mt. Everast, etc. Everything i knew...well let's just say there's nothing i can call my own anymore. I can't even find my special spot anymore...I miss the olden days. Maybe this year is just isn't for me...whos knows, maybe one day i'll wake up and feel real inspiration once again. But i'll always have faith, and hopefully that's enough to get me through. "Is a perfect day and nothing can go wrong..." right, perfect. Some people are just born lucker than others. There is no more fairness in this world anymore...truth has turned into the ugliest, ugliest lies. And i, am still here. Hopefully that just by being me, I can bring something a little extra into this dead, empty, and frozen society. I always imagine a snow angel for some reason, as if i can float away with them and never return to my problem filled life, or that i can melt away in the snow and become a part of them so i can finally fit in...But life always does go on. on. on. on. is like a long term tourture... sometimes feeling nothing is just the puriest form of relief and standing still is just the freeest form of expression. I don't know me anymore, i don't remember that last time when i truly laughed out loud due to endless happiness. I miss the past, and i know that i can never go back to it...i always tell myself to star anew everytime i make a mistake in life or that life gets me down. But now i believe that i need to somehow fix my problems instead of just forgetting them once and for all. yet, fixing is an almost impossible tast right now...maybe i should just live one step at a time and i'll fix my problems when i feel i can take on those challenges...i need someone real to talk to, instead of this stupid blog!