attention, attraction, depression?

Were we always so desperate for the attenton of the opposite sex? I haven't really noticed just how much women in general are craving for the head-turning-long-staring-looks of men until today....

western girls start to use makeup at around the age of 11-12 years old. They begin to wear mini-skirts, high heels, revealing tank-tops not too far from that age as well....They are dressing like adults and yet they barely hit the teenage years. It is sorta like they want to be hit on by older men....Do they even realize that they are throwing away their childhood piece by piece?! tossing it out of existence?! i suppose not.....

sad reality


Today at heritage festival, I saw my friend who came back from China not too long ago....and then we started to talk about how China is soooo much better than Edmonton (eeewwwww.... heheh). Our families, friends, childhood, memories all lies in 我们伟大的祖国--中国... We miss it a lot! I'm so glad she understands all these feelings of mine, cuz when i talk to my CBC friends...they have no idea why i want to leave e-town and return HOME....it can be somewhat annoying :S:S and defensive....but i don't have to worry about this no more....

sad reality


Are we all gonna eventually find The One? Serendiperty? For the past two year i had faith in finding **him**, who is he? beats me...cuz now, just recently, i sorta give up hope......i have waited for 2 years for a sign of any sort to tell me that he is out there somewhere and that i should keep on looking searching........but now all i see at the end of the tunnel is a flickering spark of hope....so small.....i know this is really dumb of me for giving up at such a young age....but i have been through enough. i'm tired and

lost
somehow i believe that i shall find some sort of LoVe in China, 河北, 石家庄...home. i guess for now i have to hold on still, but to what. Maybe i'm just fantasizing my perfect guy too much that i'm blinding myself to reality....but no really my standards are so low, i'm just trying to see if i'm actually loveable....i'm only tying to figure out my way in this tippsy-dowsy world and...i need someone there with me.

流星花园里的痛苦, 哭泣, 心痛, 爱情---并不完美, 可是这样的恋爱是我追求的...是我得不道的...


我想这些歌词最表达我的心情吧...

月光下的你沉默而孤单
挺直的脊梁和瘦削的肩膀
眼里的迷惘
影子的苍凉
夜雾茫茫
可以对着你一整个晚上
什么都不说数着呼吸幻想
想着真实的你到底怎样
怎么坚强
但爱轻悄悄的追来的不露痕迹
化成一件外衣
披上眼前的你我思念到了底
就一直逗留在你心里
因为我遇见你像一场虚拟的游戏
我认识你也只是网路上一段讯息
你若不在我的脑海
就一片空白
因为我不停猜想你的心思你的脸
模拟着和你见面走在一起的画面
我会等待你能接受
这么爱

好吧, 我会等***你***的...不论你是在天涯海角, 我会找到你的...
一直
等待
盼望
你的到来......


而你就像*精灵*一样....